T E X T F I L E S

Textfiles of a Humorous or Funny Nature

This directory is filled with files that I considered funny, or trying to

be funny. In some cases, the files might better belong in other sections

because of their chosen subject matter, but usually, someone is just trying

to make others laugh. Hopefully you'll laugh too, or at least marvel

that someone actually thought the chosen subject was humorous.

The sense of humor that people show online is pretty well varied; some

people write fantastic diatribes on stupidity or weirdness they experience

in their lives, some parody other common text files, and some just transcribe

funny columns or jokes they heard. The range in this directory is, for the

moment, beyond easy categorization.

COMPUTER

COMPUTER/index.gmi

JOKES

JOKES/index.gmi

MLVERB

MLVERB/index.gmi

REAL

The "Real" Guides

TAGLINES

Collections of One-Liners

101nos.txt

101nos.txt

1988.hilite

1988.hilite

20types

The 20 Types of People You Might Meet in the Men's Room

21types.txt

21types.txt

59insn.txt

The Warning Signs of Insanity

a-zfuck.txt

The A-Z of Foul Language, by Deadbeat/Independent

aa.jok

The Alcoholics' Anthem (To the Tune of Men of Harlech)

abbott.txt

The Famous Abbott and Costello "Who's on First?" Routine

aclamt.txt

Supposed Medical Terms for Unpleasant, but Funny, Situations, from the National Lampoon

acronym.lis

All Over List of Acronyms, 1990

acronym.txt

Acronyms for the 1990's

acronyms.txt

A Public-Domain Acronym/Abbreviation List

adcopy.hum

Jason writes a bizzare Satanic Ad

addrmeri.txt

Merit Badges for Man Scouts

admin.txt

The Discovery of Administratium, the Heaviest Element

advrtize.txt

It's an Ad Ad Ad Ad World

age.txt

Were You Born Before 1945? You're a Survivor!

aggie.txt

Letter from Aggie Mother to Her Son

aids.txt

AIDS: Fact or Fiction? by Mr. Yuk, Mr. Telephone, and Mr. Weather (January 11, 1986)

airlines

The Things I Hate and Love about Airlines, by Michael Rosen

alabama.txt

Alabama Mom to Alabama Son (A Letter)

alcatax.txt

The Alcoholics' Tax Return

alflog.txt

My Life on Planet Earth: ALF's Secret Diary

ambrose.bie

The Devil's Dictionary: Assulting Society

amchap2.txt

How to Do a Kung-Fu Coin Grab

anim_lif.txt

Life Imitating Art (About Growing Up in a Anime High School) by Curtis H. Hoffmann (November 28, 1992)

annoy.fascist

101 Ways to Annoy a Facist by The Deth Vegetable and Lyndon LaRouche

answers

Quick Answers to General Subjects. Well, Sort of.

anthropo.stu

The Pedagological Tribal System of Primitive Cultures of the Scientific Research Community by Sara Duncan

arab.dic

Useful Phrases to Know When Traveling in Muslim Areas

argotdic.txt

Junk Culture Dictionary of Argot

art-fart.hum

The Art of the Fart by the Guild Thieves

atombomb.hum

How to Make an Atomic Bomb in 10 Easy Steps

att.txt

Dealing with an AT&T Telemarketer

aussie.lng

Dictionary of Australian Speak

b-2.jok

Statement by Rep. Edward J. Markey against the B-2 stealth bomber, July 26

bad

Things Might Seem Really Bad

bad-d

You Know it's a Bad Day When.... by the Red Phantom

bad.jok

You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when.....

badday.hum

A Basically Bad Day

bagelope.txt

The Ecology of the Bagelope, by Kel'anth (Bagels to You and Me)

bank.rob

Rules for Bank Robbers

barney.cn1

The Barney Chronicles, Volume 1, Issue 1, by Chameleon Prime

barney.txt

The Day of the Barney

bb

Role Playing Beavis and Butthead

bbq.txt

Legal Agreement to Host a Barbeque

beapimp.hum

How to Be a Pimp, guaranteed to... well, maybe not.

beave.hum

Beaver Gone Bad! Fiction by Pete Stocton and Baron Von Crash

beer.hum

52 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women

beerdiag.txt

Beer Diagnostics List

beerjesus.hum

Why Beer is Better than Jesus

bible.txt

Bible Misinterpretations

bigpic1.hum

The Big Picture (Iceland Summit) by A. Whitney Brown

billcat.hum

Exploring Bill the Cat's Brain, by Motorhead

bimg.prn

The Bimbo Glossary

bitchcar.hum

How to make The Most Bitchenest Car, by The Dead Kennedy

bitnet.txt

Nutworks, the Electronic Humor Magazine Issue #21 (January, 1988)

blackapp.hum

Rabidly offensive racist employment form

blackhol.hum

New Information on Black Holes

blaster.hum

How to make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

bless.bc

Bless B.C. I Stay

blooprs1.asc

The World According to Student Bloopers by Richard Lederer of St. Paul's School

bmdn01.txt

ABL's Barney Must Die Newsletter Issue #1 (May 1993)

boatmemo.jok

The Summer Boat Ride Memos

boe.hum

Tales from the Bureau of Explosives

boneles2.txt

Manifesto of the Church of Holly Farms by Clorox Albatross

bored.txt

Things to Do When Bored

boston.geog

Boston Geography in One Paragraph

browneco.hum

Conference with Christopher Browne of Hagar

btcisfre.hum

Bill the Cat is MY Friend! By the Motorhead

bugbreak.hum

How to Make Bugs Breakdance, by The Daredevil

bugs.txt

How to Make Bugs Breakdance by The Daredevil (Includes Menu of Textfiles)

butwrong.hum

But it Would Be Wrong, by Bill Safire

buzzword.hum

How to whip out some corporate buzzwords

bw-phwan.hat

Philosophical Ramblings by Buckwheat

bw-summe.hat

Just what the hell IS Summer?

cabbage.txt

The Night of the Cabbage Patch Kids, by Thomas Covenant of the Phido Phreaks

calculus.txt

The Event of the Calculus Exam

calif.hum

Why I Hate California

calvin.txt

Interview with Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) running for President

cancer.rat

Living in Cages Linked to Cancer in Lab Rats!

carowner.txt

The 6 Major Personality Traits of Car Owners, from Weld Pond

cars.txt

Large List of "Alternate" Acronyms for Lots of Car Makes

cartoon.law

The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette and Lt. Justin D. Baldwin

cartoon.laws

The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette & Lt. Justin D. Baldwin

cartoon_.txt

O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion, from the June 1980 Esquire

cartoon_laws.txt

The Cartoon Laws, by Trevor Paquette & Lt. Justin D. Baldwin

cartwb.son

Alternate Explanation for the Lyrics in a Bugs Bunny Song

catballs.hum

Looking at the Cat's Balls, by Charles Bulkowski

catin.hat

Sigmund Freud on Seuss, by Josh LeBeau

catranch.hum

Dewey, Cheatham, and Screw Internal Memorandum

catstory.txt

A Cat, a Tree, and a New Word

cbmatic.hum

The New Ronco CB-Matic

cform2.txt

Standardized Bonehead Reply Form

chainltr.txt

The Toilet Chain letter

change.hum

A Comedy of Errors around Cable Cars

cheapin.la

Supposedly True Funny Interoffice Memo from the LA Times

chickens.jok

How Many Chickens Can You Fit Into a Generic Pontiac?

childhoo.jok

The Etiology & Treatment of Childhood

childrenbooks.txt

Children's Books You'll Never See

chinesec.hum

Chinese Profanity Translations

chunnel.txt

Ode to the Chunnel, or Why the English do Not Want a Channel Tunnel

church.sto

Funny (Supposedly True) Church Stories

climbing.let

Climbing Letters to the Editor Part II

co-car.jok

How to Recognize a Company Car

cockney.alp

The Cockney Alphabet

coffee.txt

Smurf Liberation Front presents the S.L.F. Coffee File by Lithium Clown

coffeebeerwomen.txt

Coffee and Beer: Better Then Women

cogdis.txt

Short Paper about Cognitive Dissondance

cold.fus

I'm Going to Assume This is Some Sort of HillBilly joke.

coldfake.hum

How To Fake Cold Symptoms by The Daredevil

collected_quotes.txt

Aaron Fuegi's Collected Quotations

college.hum

The Top Ten Lists Go to College, by The Deth Vegetable

college.sla

The Complete College Slang Dictionary

college.txt

How to Get into College by Ian Osmond (Xiphias Gladius)

commutin.jok

Commuting for the Beginner

computer.txt

Things to Do in a Computer Lab

comrevi1.hum

Don Tylers Splash Page: Comic Reviews, Setember 1985

conan.txt

The Adventures of Conan the Librarian, by Alan Arnold

confucius_say.txt

Confucius Say.....

consp.txt

A Complete List of All The Stuff That's Probably in the Big Government Warehouse of All The Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know About

contract.moo

Some Completely Over the Top Contract

cookie.1

The Fortune Cookie File from Karl Lehenbauer (January 14, 1989)

cooking.jok

A Definition of Cooking Terms

coollngo2.txt

Cyberpunk Street Slang: The Cool Lingo of 2020

cooplaws

Cooper's Laws of Life

cops.txt

Top Twelve Things NOT to Say to a Cop

corporat.txt

The Creation of Corporate Policy

court.quips

Disorder in the Court: a Collection of 'Transquips' by Richard Lederer

cowexplo.hum

The Legend of the Cow Exploder!

coyote.txt

COYOTE v. ACME (Wiley E. Coyote, Plaintifff v. Acme Company, Defendant)

cuchy.hum

La Cucaracha, by Mr. Sandman

cucumber.jok

The "why cu_CUM_bers are better than men" list

cucumber.txt

Why Cucumbers are Better Than Men

curiousgeorgie.txt

Curious Georgie by The Penguin

curse.txt

Spanish Obscenities and Insults Dictionary by Midnight Sorrow

d-ned.hum

The Saga of D-Ned.

dark.suc

The Theory of Dark Suckers by Paul Holmgren

dead-r

50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber, by The Banana Peel and the Garbage Can

dead2.txt

DEAD2.DOC: A Musical Drama in -V- Parts from the Dedaparamaxx Productions

dead3.txt

DEAD3.DOC: Our Heroes Enter Cyberspace by Dedaparamaxxaginos Productions

dead4.txt

DEAD IV: Revenge of the Siberian Dwarf Teenage Mutant Ninja Samurai BBS Girls from Hell with Hormones That Go Bump In the Night: A Romance

dead5.txt

DEAD V: Raiders of the Lost Byte by Dedaparamaxxaginos

deathhem.txt

Standard Procedure on Death of Employee (A Memo, April 1, 1985)

dedpussy.txt

50 Uses for the Household Pussy, by Gross Genitalia, December 04, 1989

deep.txt

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

defectiv.hum

Devective Defectors

desk.txt

Top Things that Suck at Emerson College's Library

deterior.hum

DETERIORATA

devils.jok

Excerpts from "The Devil's Dictionary", by Ambrose Pierce, 1911

diesmurf.txt

A Collection of Anti-Smurf Poetry, by The Smuggler and the Highwayman of Underground Communications (1985)

dieter.txt

Transcription of a Mike Myers "Sprockets" Skit from Saturday Night Live

dingding.hum

A Little Ding In the Door

dirtword.txt

Words that are Not Heard on Public TV, by George Carlin

disaster.hum

Reflections on Disaster

disclmr.txt

A General Disclaimer

disclym.txt

The Supreme Disclaimer

doc-says.txt

What the Doctor Says and What the Doctor Means

docdict.txt

A Little Editing Needed Here (The Doctor as Humorist)

docspeak.txt

What the Doctor Says and What He Really Means

doggun.sto

Freeze! I'm Armed with a Dog!

donut.txt

How Different Philosophies Handle The Donut

dover.poem

The Dover Poem, by KWH 1981

drinker.txt

The Drinkers' Fault-Finding Guide

drinking.tro

The Drinkers' Fault-Finding Guide

drinkrul.jok

Philosophies of Life

drive.txt

Macho Driving in Massachusetts

dromes.txt

Here's a Bunch of Palindromes

druggame.hum

Take Me Out to the Drug Game

drunk.txt

You know it's time to go on the wagon when...

dthought.txt

Collection of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

dubltalk.jok

The Quarterly Review of Doublespeak, 1988

dym

Speaking in Texican: A Primer

eandb.drx

How Ernie and Bert Came to Be, by The Durex Blender Corporation

eatme.txt

Eat Mee Kitchen, Chinese Food to Eat Out

econridl.fun

Who paid for the Englishman? A Riddle

electric.txt

Primer for Homeowners: The Electrical System

element.jok

Scientists Discover Administratium, the Heaviest Element

elephant.fun

Determining Your Job By How You Hunt Elephants

elevator.fun

50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator by Toni Ralston

empeval.txt

Profanity-Laden New Employee Evaluation Form

engineer.hum

The Condemned: A poem

english

Some examples of weird things that came in the English Language

english.txt

A Collection of Language Questions with Answers

engrhyme.txt

Poem about the foolishness of English

enlightenment.txt

Drime Your Karma, Curb Your Dogma: Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment

enquire.hum

The New, Improved National Enquirer, 1985

epitaph

Epitaths, Famous Last Words

eskimo.nel

The Ballad of Eskimo Nell

exam.50

50 Fun Things To Do During a Final You Were Going To Fail Already

excuse.txt

Excuses for Turning Down a Date

excuse30.txt

Top Excuses for Arriving Late to French Class, including French Translations!

excuses.txt

A Collection of Typical School Excuses

f_tang.txt

Frank Tang Sell Best Good Mushroom! (From National Lampoon)

failure.txt

A Collection of Complete and Utter Failures

farsi.phrase

Useful Farsi Phrases for American Officers Traveling to Iran

farsi.txt

Useful Farsi Phrases for Americans Travelling to the Middle East

fartinfo.txt

The Facts about Flatulence, by Margaret C. McDonald

fartting.txt

...on Farting, by Bosk

fascist.txt

101 Ways to Annoy a Fascist, by The Deth Vegetable

fbipizza.txt

JOKE: The FBI Orders Pizza (1996)

fed.txt

AOL Feds, by Shot

fegg!int.txt

Dr. Fegg's Encyclopaedia of *All* World Knowledge (Formerly the NASTY BOOK) (April 9, 1994)

feggaqui.txt

Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge (Apil 11, 1994)

feggmagi.txt

Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge (Magic) (April 10, 1994)

female.jok

Chemical Analysis on the "Woman" Element

figure_1.txt

AT&T Customer Service Memorandum (See Figure 1)

final-ex.txt

The Ultimate Final Examination

finalexm.hum

Final Examination from Hell

fireplacein.txt

He Swears This is a True Story about the Fireplace

firstaid.inf

Quick First Aid Card

firstaid.txt

First Aid for Non-Medically Minded Persons

flattax.hum

The Flat-Out Tax Revisited

flowchrt

FlowChart for Problem-Solving

flowchrt.txt

Problem Solving Flowchart

flux_fix.txt

A Very Large Amount of Random Thinking

footfun.hum

Cops Recover Human Foot in Sewer

forsooth.hum

Mother Spanks Son and Blows Up

free-cof.fee

The Coffee Manifesto by Steve Guccione (June 11, 1990)

freshman.hum

A Quick note to the Freshman of Horace Greeley

freudonseuss.txt

Freud on Seuss by Josh LeBeau: A Review (From the UCSD Humor Magazine)

from.hum

From the 60's to the 80's

fuck!.txt

The Greatness of the word "Fuck"

fuckyou2.txt

Toxic Shock Presents: Fuck You Too, I I Hate Your Guts (Toxic File #49)

fusion.gal

Fusion Girl (Scientific Song Parody) by Bill Higgins (1989)

fusion.sup

Observation of Warm Nuclear Fusion in Condensed Soup

fwksfun.hum

Fireworks Foibles and Follies

gaiahuma

The Rules for Being a Human

ganamembers.txt

How to Identify Gang Members

gas.txt

The Fart Classification Chart (Fart Chart)

gd_guide.txt

Game Developer Magazine Writer Guidelines

german.aut

English and German Driving Terms

girlspeak.txt

Girlspeak to English Dictionary

godmonth.txt

The God of the Month Club

goforth.hum

o Forth and Wait, a Play in One Act

gohome.hum

Group Opposed to Harboring Movers from the East (G.O. H.O.M.E.)

good.txt

How to Write Good, by Frank L. Visco

gown.txt

A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown, by Charles E. Siem

grail.txt

The Strictly Unofficial Script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (January 25, 1989)

grammar.jok

The Future of the English Language, Demonstrated

grommet.hum

Help! The Grommet's Missing!

grospoem.txt

Redone Nursery Rhymes, with WAY too many disclaimers at the top

growth.txt

Personal Growth Courses from hell

hack

Memo To Employees: You Can Never Leave

hacktest.txt

The Hacker Test (Version 1.0) by Felix Lee, John Hayes and Angela Thomas (June 16, 1989)

harmful.hum

Dirty Air

hate.hum

I HATE EVERYTHING

headlnrs

A Collection of True Newspaper Headlines that Merit a Second Glance

hecomes.jok

The Legend of Mad Martin

height.txt

The Height of ________ is..

hell.jok

Welcome to Hell!

hell.txt

A List of Things in Hell

herb!.hum

Herb? Who's Herb? Where's He From!?!?

hi.tec

Completely Bizzare Diseases

hierarch.txt

The Heirarchy of a Business

hilbilly.wri

Medical Terminology for the Layperson

history2.oop

A History of the Past: Life Reeked with Joy

hitler.59

The Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler (To Err is Hitler)

hitler.txt

The Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler

hitlerap.txt

Mel Brooks' Hitler Rap

hoonsrc.txt

Auckland Hoon's Road Code

hoosier.txt

You know you're a Hoosier when......

horoscop.jok

Horoscopes for Philosophy Graduate Students by Lije

horoscop.txt

Horoscopes for Philosophy Graduate Students, by Lije

horoscope.txt

Your Lifetime Horoscope

hotel.txt

Some Foriegn Signs That Attempt To Be In English

hotnnot.hum

He Warelock tells you What's Hot and What's Not

how.bugs.breakd

How to make Bugs Breakdance by The Daredevil of The Police Station

how2bgod.txt

How to Be God Book II by Rusty Nail, Flat Tire, Jim

how_to_i.pro

How to Identify Professors

howlong.hum

How Long Things Take

hstlrtxt.txt

You Know You're from Hustler, Wisconsin, When.....

htswfren.txt

How to Swear in French by Cherry Poptart

hum2

The Who's On First Routine by Abbot and Costello

humatra.txt

HUMATRANS: A Transportation Device for Homo Sapiens

humatran.jok

HUMATRANS (A Transportation Device for Homo Sapiens) (Reviews)

humor9.txt

You Might Be a Redneck if....

humpty.dumpty

The Story of Humpty Dumpty

icm.hum

Another First for ICM

idaho.txt

The True Story of Idaho

idr2.txt

The Industrial Dude Ranch Letter

imbecile.txt

Position Available: Imbecile!

imprrisk.hum

Enhancing the Game "Risk" by Redd Slaver

impurmat.hum

Impure Mathematics

incarhel.hum

Jason's 15 Incarnations of Hell

initials.rid

Some of the Ancient Riddles from the Past, by Peter Young (The Initial Riddle) (May 25, 1989)

inlaws1.txt

The Book of the In-Lawys

inquirer.txt

The Irrational Enquirer: Headlines

ins1

The Rules for Being Human

insanity.hum

Keeping Insanity in the Closet, by The Weatherman

insult

28 Laughing Ways to Insult Your Friends and Enemies

insult.lst

A Completely Bizzare List of Insults of All Sorts

insults1.txt

Yo Momma So Fat, I Have a List of Several Hundred Insults

insuranc.sty

Some Stories about why Insurance Companies Suck

insure.hum

He hurt himself because he lost his presence of mind.

interv.hum

Interview with Elder Berri abut Nabih Berry

investi.hum

Investigation into the "Lynch Mob"

iqtest

Your Intelligence Test

is_story.txt

The Story on the CD by Information Society, grabbed by Andro and Tetsuo Shima

italoink.txt

Badly Faked Italian Letter Indicating the Letter-Writer is an Idiot

ivan.hum

Ivan and the Burlap Quilt

jac&tuu.hum

The Real Story behind Jacob Riis and The Unknown User

japrap.hum

We're Jap Girls, we Take No Crap

jargon.phd

Glossary for Research Papers: Strictly Speaking

jason.fun

Jason Sadofsky: The Tribune Articles 1986-1988

jc-elvis.inf

JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence, or Cosmic Plan?

jeffie.heh

Oops! Jeff is in TROUBLE.....

johann

Why it is No-one remembers Johann?

jokeju07.txt

Actual Messages from Real Church Bulletins

jokes

Collection of Tasteless Jokes

jokes.txt

Joke Blab from the Datanet. Edited By The Slipped Disk

jokes1.txt

The Zen of Cat Bathing

jrrt.riddle

Collection of Really Old Riddles

just2

How to Know You're Growing Older: A List

justify

Strange Text Justification Experiment

kid2

Jessica Gets it All Wrong

kid_diet.txt

New Infants' Miracle Diet for Overweight People

killer.hum

He's the Walk In Killer

killself.hum

101 Ways to Kill Yourself!

kilsmur.hum

A Compilation of Anti-Smurf Poetry

kloo.txt

The Kloo Gnomes Present: The Not-So-Sacred Book of Kloos

koans.txt

Collection of Zen Koans

la_times.hun

Interoffice Memos and Tar

labels.txt

Some Labels.....

lampoon.jok

The Harvard Lampoon, "Bored of the Rings"

languag.jok

The ACTUAL Uses for Each Language

law.sch

A Law School Chronology... Will they Be Lawyers or Not?

lawhunt.txt

Washington 1986/87 Attorney Season and Bag Limits

laws.txt

Interesting US Laws, taken from the Seattle P-I

lawskool.txt

A Welcome Speech Supposedly Delivered by Dean William S. Prosser to his Freshman Law Students

lawsuniv.hum

Rules of the Universe, by the Masters of the Universe

lawyer.jok

The Canonical List of Lawyer Jokes

lawyers.txt

How Many Lawyers?

lazarus.txt

From the Notebooks of Lazarus LONGINT (Parody of Lazarus Long)

lbinter.hum

The Lord British Online Conference

leech.txt

The Leech at Work by The Rocker

legal.hum

The Law Enforcement Translator

let.go

A Captain Writes His Insurance Report

letgosh.txt

A Large Comedy of Errors in the Ship's Log

letter.txt

Best of the David Letterman Top 10 Lists

letter_f.sch

A Letter From School

libraway.txt

Pat Robertson speaks out for Anal Retention sufferers

liceprof.sty

Funny Passage from Gordon Ostlere, "Doctor in the House," 1952

lif&love.hum

Life and Love, by Tristan Farn0n

lifeimag.hum

"All in a Days Imagination", by Theta Sigma

lifeinfo.hum

The Meaning of Life (The Computer Game)

limerick.jok

Small Collection of Dirty Lyrics

lines.jok

A List of Classic (?) Pick-Up Lines

lion.jok

The "Classic" How to Catch a Lion

lion.txt

The Many Weird Ways to Catch a Lion

lions.cat

A Contribution to the Mathematical Theory of Big Game Hunting (Hunting Using Math Theories)

livnware.hum

The Song 'Livin on a Ware' by Eddie and the Lusers

llamas.txt

The Mettle Of Our Llamas

lll.hum

The Legume Liberation League Manifesto

llong.hum

The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

lobquad.hum

The Lobster Quadrille, by Lewis Carroll

looser.hum

How to Spot a Loset, by The Incognito of 202 Alliance

losers84.hum

The Official 1984 LozerList by The Atom

losers86.hum

The Losers of 1986, by Micro Magician/The Fugitive

lotsa.jok

Grab-Bag of Jokes

lozers

Chucko's Guide for Detecting Lozer Users

lozerzon.hum

The Loser Zone, by The Circle Spellbook

lozeuser.hum

The LoserUsers: A Documentary, by Trash Compactor

lp-assoc.txt

Life Placement Associates, by Daniel P Dern

lucky.cha

Judge Who You Are by the Lucky Charms Marshmallows you Like

ludeinfo.hum

The Luding Chronicles, by Sinbad Sailor!

ludeinfo.txt

The Basics of Luding

luggage.hum

The Lost Luggage Scam

luvstory.txt

Dead IV: The Book of Dead

luzerzo2.hum

Another Tale From The Loser Zone: Black Buccaneer

m0dzmen.hum

The Trabelling M0dzmen, Part II

macsfarm.old

The Tragic Tale of Old MacDonald's Farm, a Personnel Saga by A. Mouse

madhattr.jok

How to Ceelbrate Mad Hatter Day

madscrib.hum

The Writings of the Mad Scribe, Volume III

maecenas.hum

Marcenas, by Chuck Capaldi

mailfrag.hum

Mail Fraud, by L.E. Pirate

makebeer.hum

Homemade Beer, by The Whizz

making_y.wel

Making your Serviceman Feel Welcome

malechem.txt

MEN: The Chemical Analysis

manager.txt

Managerese to Engineerese Translation Dictionary

manilla.hum

Mania in Manilla

manners.txt

Types of Real Trouble

manspace.hum

A timeline of Men in Space, 1962-1984

marines.hum

The Outer Space Marines

marriage.hum

Collection of Marriage Witticisms

mash.hum

Script from M*A*S*H

math.1

Quotes from lecturers at Cambridge University, England

math.2

Quotes from lecturers at Cambridge University, England

math.far

How Math Has Been Taught in the Last Few Decades

mcd.txt

Customer Service Card for McDonnell Douglas Products

meinkamp.hum

Well, it's more about Unicorns than Hitler...

mel.txt

The Story of Mel, a Real Programmer, by Ed Nather (May 21, 1983)

melodram.hum

All that Glitters: A Play

memo.hum

Important Acronym-filled Memo

men&wome.txt

Why Men and Women Get Along So Well

mensroom.jok

A Guide to Proper Etiquette in the Men's Restroom

merry.txt

The Merry Pranksters And the Art of the Hoax, by Mark Dery

miamadvi.hum

Miami Ad-Vice, by Thos. M. O'Brien

miami.hum

Captain Goodnight's Tale of Geek Darkness

miamimth.txt

City of Miami High School Mathematics Proficiency Exam

middle.age

History from the Middle Ages to the Present in 70 Messed-Up Lines

miranda.hum

Some Improved Miranda Warnings

misc.1

A LArge Collection of Miscellaneous Jokes and Humor

misery.hum

Misery is....

missheav.hum

Missing Heaven by 18 Inches

modstup

A Model of Stupidity by Greg Borek

montpyth.hum

Monty Python Interview, Q Magazine, 1987

moonshin

How to Make Moonshine! By Phinneas J. Whoopie, III

moose.txt

The Story of Moose Skin Bengt, by Uggadunk v3.0

moslem.txt

Important tips for Mideastern Travelers

mothers.txt

A Mother's Dictionary

motrbike.jok

Reasons why Motorcyles Are Better Than Women

mowers.txt

Some Notes on the Operation of Rotary Lawn Mowers

mr.rogers

Some Poor Guy Fired for Playing Mr. Rogers

mrscienc.hum

Omnibus of Mr. Science Answers

mtm.hum

The Mary Tyler Moore Show Listing

mundane.v2

The Mundanity Test (Version 2.0) (December 1, 1990)

murph.jok

Murphy's Laws and Other Observations

murphy.txt

Murhpy's Law, and Similar Ilk

murphy_l.txt

Famous Murphy's Laws and Other Aphorisms

murphys.txt

The Absolute Laws to Live By (From Murphy)

mutate.hum

Self-Mutation using Programming

mydaywss.hum

My Day with the Secret Service Men, by The Incognito

myheart.hum

My Heart - Christ's Home, by Robert Munger

naivewiz.hum

A Children's Guide to Magic, by The Silver Ghost

nasaglenn.txt

Top 10 Changes NASA made for John Glenn's Shuttle Trip

naughty.hum

SEVEN Dirty Words? Try DOZENS!

netnews.10

The Top Ten Problems with Netnews

newconst.hum

New Constitution Ideas

newmex.hum

See the Map, See New Mexico, no, New Mexico, not Mexico

news.hum

Short Takes on the News

nigel.1

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog

nigel.10

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog Part II

nigel.2

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 02

nigel.3

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 03

nigel.4

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 04

nigel.5

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 05

nigel.6

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 06

nigel.7

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 07

nigel10.txt

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog Part 10

nihgel_8.9

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog 08

nintendo.jok

Leo L. Schwab is Particularly Pissed at the Nintendo Cereal System

normal.boy

Cap'n Jasper's Crow's Nest: The Rules for the Normal Boy (May 1935)

normalboy.txt

The 10 Commandments for the Normal Boy

nosuch_nasfic

Dig from Houston about Science Fiction

novel.hum

A Science Fiction Blabnovel

nuke.hum

Making Your Very Own Nuke

nukeplay.hum

Nuclear War and the Politics of Agression, by The Mathematician

nukewar.jok

Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence

nukewar.txt

NUKE: The Nuclear Age Magazine (How to Start Nuclear War)

nukwaste

Yet Another Modest Proposak: The Roentgen Standard

number

It's All About the Numbers...

number.killer

The Number That's So Big It Kills You

number_k.ill

The Killion: The Number That Kills You

nurds.hum

What Makes a Nurd Most, by Mad Max

nysucks.hum

The Entire Northeast Sucks!

o-ttalk.hum

The Wonder and the Glory of ORCUTT TALK

oam-001.txt

The Monster in the Toilet Bowl, by Stumpy

oam.nfo

Come to the One Armed Monkeys BBS by Stumpy

oasis

Oasis of Greed (Taking a Trip to Las Vegas) by Dave Bealer and Greg Borek

odd_to.obs

An Ode to Those who Toil in Obscurity

odearakk.hum

An Ode to Arrakis. What the Hell is Arrakis?

office.txt

Humorous Interoffice Memo about Problems in Renovation

ohandre.hum

Oh, Andrea Mitchell! by Thos. O'Brien

oilgluts.hum

Oil Gluts are For Gluttons

old.txt

Compilation of "Old XXX Never Die, They Just ....." jokes, by Mark Israel (1992)

oldeng.hum

"One Of A Kind" From the Electronic Edition of One-To-One

oldtime.sng

The REAL Old Time Religion, to the tune of "That Old Time Religion"

one.par

The Parachute Paradigm: What Do You Do with Two people, one Parachute?

onetoone.hum

The October 26, 1987 Issue of One To One

onetotwo.hum

The October 19, 1987 Issue of One To One

ookpik.hum

OOK PIK

opinion.hum

A Quick Opinion poll

oracle.jok

The Usenet Oracle has Pondered Your Question Deeply...

ourfathr.txt

The Revised Lord's Prayer

outawork.erl

99 Excuses for Skipping Out of Work Early

oxymoron.jok

Collection of Oxymorons, some of Which are not Oxymorons, but hey.

oxymoron.txt

Small Collection of Oxymorons

ozarks.hum

A Little Known Castle in the Ozarks

p-law.hum

The Power of Law, to the tune of "Power of Love"

paddingurpapers.txt

Padding Your Papers

parabl.hum

The parable of the Prodigal Student, by Mike Mahoney

passage.hum

Carol Dietz got off the train and didn't look back.

passenge.sim

A New Concept in Flight Simulators: The Passenger Simulator

peanuts.txt

How to Open a Packet of Dry-Roasted Peanuts

peatchp.hum

The Great Peach Pilferage, by Bruce E. Rodgers

pecker.txt

Open Letter to Taxpayers: We're going to Tax Your Genitals

penisprt.txt

The low-Cost Penis Protection Plan

pepsideg.txt

The Pepsi Degeneration by Morpheous

phony.hum

Real Phony House Plants

phorse.hum

The Purple Horse, not by Don Marquis

phunatdi.ana

How to have Phun at your Parents' Dinner Party by Mr. Mullins

pickup.lin

The Canonical List of Male Pickup Lines

pickup.txt

Collection of Pickup Lines

pipespec.txt

The "Irish Government" Pipe Specifications

pizzawho.hum

The Effect of Dimensional Transcendence on Cheese

planeget.hum

This is Your Guide to Plane Hijacking!

pol-corr.txt

New Official Politically Correct Terms for 1991

polemom.txt

Letter to Son from polish mom

poli.tics

Politics Made Simple by the Application of Cows

poli_t.ics

Politics Expressed by Cows

policpig.hum

Calling a Policeman a Pig, from The Anarchist Cookbook

poll2res.hum

Predictions for 2007

polly.txt

The Story of Impure Mathematics

polly_.new

Impure Mathematics, the Story of Polly Nomial

polyglot.c

The HELLO, POLYGLOTS program

poopie.txt

The Poopie List

popconc.hum

Pope Concerts, by Thos. M. O'Brien

popmach

How to Rip off the Pop Machines

popmusi.hum

Pop Music Explained, by Thos. M. O'Brien

post.nuc

Some Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence

potty.txt

A Guide to Proper Etiquette in the Men's Restroom

pournell.spo

Spoof of Jerry Pournelle Articles from BYTE Magazine

prac1.jok

Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 1 of 4)

prac2.jok

Super Collection of Practical Jokes (Part 2 of 4)

prac3.jok

Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 3 of 4)

prac4.jok

Super Collection of Practical Jokes (part 4 of 4)

pracjoke.txt

Collection of Practical Joke Ideas

practica.txt

The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes

prawblim.hum

What's up with these MIDDAY COMMERCIALS?

prayer.hum

Governor Edwards' Prayer

primes.jok

Is Nine Prime?

princess.brd

The "Reunion Scene" from _The_Princess_Bride_

pro-fact.hum

Miscellaneous Facts about Abortion

problem.txt

E-Z Problem Solving Flowchart

progrs.gph

The Definite Last Word on Geeks by Diamond Dave Letterman

proof.met

Examples of Different Methods of "Proof"

prooftec.txt

Weirdly Rewritten Collection of Proofs

proposal.jok

What those Proposals Really Mean

prover.wisom

The Book of Proverbial Wisdom

prover_w.iso

The Book of Proverbial Wisdom

psalm.reagan

The Psalm of Ronald Reagan

psalm23.txt

Psalm 23, 1992 Version

psalm_nixon

The Nixon's Prayer

psalm_re.aga

Reasan's Psalm

psilaine.hum

PSI-Laine Magazine, Issue #1, 1988

psych_pr.quo

Quotes from Professor Ralph Noble, a Professor of Psychology at RPI

psycho.txt

Managing Interpersonal Relationships

pukeprom.jok

My Story of Puking at My Prom After Eating Pizza Drunk!

pun.txt

A Collection of Shaggy Dog Stories

pure.mat

Pure Poor Percy P

pussy.hum

Man, I sure Do Love Them Cats

puzzle.spo

The Solution to the "I know Now!" Mathematical Puzzle

puzzles.jok

Completely Freaky Lateral Thinking Puzzles

python_s.ong

The Monty Python Philosphers' Song

q.pun

Large Collection of "Q" Puns

quack26.txt

The Holy Book of QUACK!

quantum.jok

The Actual History of Quantum MEchanics

quantum.phy

The Topic for Today is Quantum Physics, by Andrew Arensburger (June 12, 1989)

quest.hum

Quest, by Plastique

quick.jok

Quick List of Joking Definitions

quotes.bug

Collection of Lesser Known Quotes from the Engineers of Hewlett Packard

quotes.jok

Collection of Interesting Quotes from All Over

quotes.txt

Some Quotes from the Usenet Newsgroup "rec.arts.comics"

quux_p.oem

The Great Quux: Random Poetry and Other Loses, by Guy L. Steele, Jr.

r-smurf.d&d

The Smurf Class in D&D

rabbit.txt

Confess That You're a Rabbit!

racist.net

Someone Gets REALLY Oversensitive about the Usenet

radiolaf.hum

The American Comedy Network!

rapmastr.hum

Rap Master Ronnie (Reagan)

ratings.hum

Rock Record Ratings

ratspit.hum

De-Ethylene Bromate by Stud Muffin

raven.hum

Interrip Report on the Raven

readme.bat

Holy Time-Warp, Batman!

reagan.hum

Quite Note off to John Hinckley

realest.txt

Real Estate Ads Translated

reasons.txt

Reasons Why a Three Week Old Dog Turd is Better Than a Woman

rec.por

Parody about Brad Tampleton's Racist Joke Debate

record_.gap

The Lurker in the interrecord Gap

red-neck.jks

You Might Be Considered a Redneck if....

reddwarf.sng

Ghost Filkers In The Hall (Filk Song)

reddye.hum

Caught Red Handed, by Thos. O'Brien

rednecks.txt

You Know You're a Redneck if....

relative.ada

Relativity, by Patrick D. Scannell

religion.txt

The Shit List!

renorthr.txt

Northridge Earthquake Signage (April 10, 1994)

rent-a_cat

I Would Like to Borrow a Cat

rentals.hum

Rental Cars, by Thos. O'Brien

repair.hum

How to Repair Electronic Equipment

report.hum

Report on Ethan Fromme

research.hum

Research Definitions

residncy.jok

Application to Live in New Hampshire

resolutn.txt

Some New Year's Resolutions, from 1989-1992

resrch_p.hra

Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases

resrch_phrase

A Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases

revolt.dj

Dick and Jane Instigate a Popular Revolt, by The Deth Vegetable and Iskra

rinaldo.jok

Rinaldo's Laws of Organizations

rinaldos.law

Rinaldo's laws of organizations

rinaldos.txt

Rinaldo's Laws

ripoffpc.hum

Hey, Robert Briggs was REALLY Ripped Off!

roach.asc

Search is On for World's Biggest Roach

roadpizz.txt

The Complete Guide to Road Pizza written by Black Kat

robot.tes

Are You About to Employ a Robot? (A Test) (December 2, 1989)

rocking.hum

The Daredevil's Classifications of Rock Music

rockmus.hum

The Effects of Rock Music

rocky.hor

The Rocky Horror Picture Show Script and Suggested Audience Participation

rocky_ho.rro

Rocky Horror Script/Suggestions for Audience Participation

roi.txt

JOKE: Notice of Revocation of Independence, from the BBC

rolls.hum

Would You Buy a Used Rolls From This Bhagwan? By Thos. O'Brien

romance.hum

Romance Novel No. 209

roomate.txt

50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate

roommate.con

50 Ways to Confuse your Roommate

roommates

A Guide to Getting Rid of Unwanted Jerk Roommates

roseanna.hum

He Fell In love With Roseanna

rotten.jok

You can Tell It's Going To Be a Rotten Day When

rottend.txt

You Can Tell it's Going To Be A Rotten Day When....

royalfam.txt

The Royal Family - Inbred genetic mutants or hereditary con-artists?

rp.txt

Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, Updated by Michael Stillwell (July 21, 1995)

rubber.txt

A Song by PiP the Angry Youth

rubberus

50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber by The Banana Peel and The Garbage Can

rubberus.hum

50 Extended Uses for a Dead Rubber

rudeflik.jok

Miss Dish's Lament

rudeness.hum

Rudeness to Reagan Awards

ruggies

How To Tell Ruggies

rules.txt

The Cardinal Rules

rulesfor.txt

William Safire's Rules for Writers

rumormil.hum

Rumor Room on Location at the Rumor Mill

russian.fun

Are we talkng Wicked or Nasty here?

safefax.txt

A Guide to Safe Fax (Humor)

saintsid.hum

A Visit by Saint Vicious

sand.hum

Sandman: A Poem

sap.txt

Selections from the Scholastic Aptitude Prepatory Test (The SAP)

sarah_st.ory

The Sarah Story (All Words Start with S)

satantre.hum

Satan Trek: The Dying Generation Vol I

sayings.hum

Celebrated Utterances, a Quiz

sayings.txt

A Saying for Every Occasion, and Every Occasion for Its Saying

sayno.hum

Starting a "Just Say No" Club

sayno.txt

101 Ways to Say No, by Vuarnet International

scavenge.93

The University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List 1993

school.mud

Infocom Adventure about Freshman Year

sci.gra

Collection of Scientific and Futuristic One-Liners

sdvallah.hum

Stare Decisis by Alexander of Atlantis

seagull.txt

The SeaGull Electronic University Fall Semester 1990 (Humor)

seastory.txt

The Admiral Tells Your Favorite Story about Hookers and Defication (Well, your only one)

security.hum

Security on the Home Front, by Robert Brooks

selfserv.txt

Winners of the Self-Serving Excuses (April 10, 1994)

seuss.txt

The Dr. Seuss Purity Test

sexjokes.fun

Large Collection of Across the Board Offensive Jokes

sflvrs.hacker

A Beautiful obsession with the binary world, by Steven Levy

shagbook.jok

The Book of Shag

shame.hum

Shame! Naughty! Naught! From the National Satirist

shit.1

This is How Shit Happens

shit.def

Large Collection of Fecal Output Terms

shit.txt

A Collection of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) Departments

shitlist.txt

The "Infamous" Shit List

shitmemo.txt

A Collection of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) Departments

shorties.jok

Collection of Short Jokes

shrink.news

The Shrink Sports News

shuttleb.hum

A Moment's Horror Brings Momentous Grief

signatur.jok

Collection of Stupid .signature Files

sigs.txt

The Enormous Signature File Collection

simp.txt

Simplified Integrated Modular Prose by The Bear

sinksub.txt

Sinking a Sub, by Hellrazor

skincat

101 Ways to Skin a Cat by Master Control (1991)

skippy.hum

How to Screw with Ask the Expert

skippy.txt

Ask the Expert, written by Tristan Farnon and D'ark Angel

slogans.txt

List of Possible Slogans Promoting National Condom Week

smackjok.hum

All sorts of racist/sexist/disgusting humor.

smartass.txt

The Ultimate Final Test

smiley.txt

Large Collection of Emoticons/Smileys

smokers.txt

Short Story for Smokers Only

smurf-03.txt

The Smurf Squishers' Handbook Volume III by The Smurf Butcher Bobs (August 28, 1986)

smurf_co.txt

The SmurfCODE (1990)

smurfkil.hum

Smurf Genocide Volume #1

smurfs.cc

A Compilation of Anti-Smurf Poetry, by The Highwayman, and The Smuggler

snake_ng.ras

An MIT Student Talks about his pet Boa Constrictor

snipe.txt

SNIPE SORCERY: The Invocation of the Baboo, a Collection of False Wicca

soccer.txt

Top 10 New Precautions The British Have Taken to Avoid Soccer Voilence

socecon.hum

The New Socialism, by John K. Williams

social.hum

Economic Power, by Joseph S. Fulda

socks.drx

Where the Missing Socks from the Laundry Go, by Snarastaman

soleleer.hum

Stare Decisis Chapter 9: SOLE LEER

solviets.hum

The Soviets: What are they pulling now?

some_hu.mor

Collection of odd 1976 Newspaper Stories

soporifi.abs

The Ballade of Soporific Absorption from 1958 (January 12, 1989)

sorority.gir

Canonical List of Sorority Girl Jokes

spelin_r.ifo

Spelling Reform, a Letter at a Time

speling.msk

Indications you're reading Popular English

spider.hum

Creepy Accounting of a Tarantula Killing a Sparrow

spoonlis.txt

A List of Malapropisms, Mixed Metaphors, Spoonerisms, Etc. by Noel Giffin (February, 1993)

spydust.hum

Spy Dust Mopped Up, a Special Report

squids.gph

The True Definition of a SQUID by The Ascii Assassin

st_silic.txt

More Silliness from Saint Silicon

staff.txt

Courses Being Taught Over There or Something

standard.hum

Yet Another Modest Proposal

startrek.txt

Startrek, The Ultimate Story!

stereo.txt

Troubleshooting Your New Stereo, by P. Harris

steroid.txt

Announcing the creation of TEXT FILE STEROIDS!

stone.hum

Odd Little Story About Sucking the Life Out Of Someone

strine.txt

The Strine Dictionary, by Ure Smith, of Sydney (1965)

strsdiet.txt

The Stress Diet

studentb.txt

The World According To Student Bloopers

subrdead.hum

The Suburban Book Of The Dead, Version 1.0

suicide2.txt

13 Ways to Commit Suicide by KvM of STACC

sungenu.hum

The Latest Cult Hero: Dr. J.R. (Bob) Dobbs

supermar.rul

The Secret Supermarket Rules List

swearfrn.hum

How to Swear in French, by Cherry Poptart

sysadmin.txt

Know Your System Administrator: A Field Guide

sysman.txt

Extract from "The Way It Is" - Warner/Davis

t-10.hum

T-10, where are you?

t-shirt.hum

T-Shirts: The Human Bumpersticker

t_zone.jok

Mission Impossible Meets the Twilight Zone

takenote.jok

How to Take Notes in Professor Mitchell's Class

talebeat.hum

Rock The Story of Nick and the Intergalactic Break Dancers

talkbizr.txt

The Talk.Bizzare Board Game: Rules and Diagram

taping.hum

The TAPING I: Rag File on Jeff Spicolli

tarot.txt

Major Arcana Tarot Cards that Didn't Quite Make It

teens.txt

How to Survive the Terrible Teens: An Owners' Guide

teevee.hum

Television Programs from Outer Space

telecom.q

Large Collection of Telephone-Related Quotes

televisi.hum

How to Work in Television, or Hand Me That Piano

televisi.txt

How to Work in Television, or Hand Me That Piano, by The Great Crumal

temphell.jok

The Tempature of Heaven

terbear.txt

The Terror Bears on the Rampage, by Darkside 444

termpoem.txt

Terminal Panic, or Why Didn't I Become an English Major? By Susan Crawshaw

terms.hum

An Unabridged, Uncommon, and Unnecessary Dictionary of Computer Terminology, from King Herman

terrmcd'.hum

How to Terrorize McDonalds

terrnieg.hum

How to Terorize the Neighborhood

test.hum

Current Affairs Quiz, January, 1984

test.jok

How to Test those Christians

test2.jok

More Tests for Bibliolators

testchri.txt

Here are more tests for our Bibliolators...

texican.dic

Texasese Speak Listing, or Texas Crude Dictionary

texican.lex

List of Texas Crude (Dialect)

textgrap.hum

A REALLY old classic by Jason Scott, The Slipped Disk

tfepisod.hum

Episode Guide for Tristan Farn0n stuff

tfpoems.hum

A Few Quick Poems from Tristan Farn0n

the_ant.txt

A Quick Update to the Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper

the_math.hel

The Math Problem From Hell

thecube.hum

Pirate Publication by Supplier

thermite.ana

Thermite Incendiaries and Formulas, by Primo Pyro

thesis.beh

101 Things Not to do at Or For Your Thesis Defense

three.lws

The Adventures of Lone Wolf Scientific

tickmoon.hum

Ticket To The Moon

timetr.hum

Time Travel: A Discussion, by Howard Ullman

tits

Head Honco Presents: Tits for Free

tnd.1

Small Collection of "Found Humor"

top10.elf

The Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines

top10.txt

The Best Letterman Top 10s from David Letterman, 1989

top10st1.txt

Silly Top Ten List Compilation (December 1992)

top10st2.txt

Additional Stupid Top 10 Lists

topten.hum

A Top Ten Look Back at the 80s by Deth Vegetable and Fidel Castro

toxcwast.hum

The Store of T0XIC WASTE

transp.txt

How to Build Your Own Transporter

trash!.hum

A Couple Headlines taken off the Tabloids

trekfume.txt

New... Trekfume: Trek Perfumes

trekwes.hum

The Next, Next Generation. How It All Began!

tribble.hum

That's Dribble, Tribble!

trukdeth.txt

Stories About Trucks And Death...By: The Penguin, The Druggie, Rockhead, Hot Mama, and Ski Guy

truthlsd.hum

ALTERNATIVE III by Leslie Watkins

truths.hum

How Do We Tell Truths That Might Hurt?

tshirts.jok

Collection of T-Shirt Sayings

tuflife.txt

Getting Through Life's Tough Stages

turbo.hum

The Turbo Encabulator in Industry

turing.shr

The Turing Shroud: An Amazing Archeological Discovery! By Chris Boyd (1990)

twinkie.txt

The Twinkie Therom, The Real Story, by CHUD

twinkies.jok

The Biology of Snack Cakes Prepared by Eric Kollenberg 21 Feb. 1986

un.happy

Things to Do When in an Unhappy Mood

units.mea

Real Bizzare Units of Measurement (February 1989)

univ.odd

List of Universities that quickly degenerates into siliness

urban.txt

Official Usenet Alt.Folklore.Urban Frequently Posted Legends

vaguemag.90s

Vague, the Magazine that Defines the 90's

valujet.txt

Short Play About the World's Safest Airline, by George F.

variety1.asc

Collection of Various Humor Textfiles

variety2.asc

Varions Humor Textfiles, Part II

variety3.asc

Various Humor Textfiles, Part III

various.txt

Various Humor Textfiles, Part IV

vegkill.txt

Is Killing Vegetables Wrong?

voltron.hum

The Story of V O L T R O N

vonthomp

Quote from Kurt Vonnegut of Hunter S. Thompson

wagit.txt

Join W.A.G.I.T. Today! White Are Good, It True.

wagon.hum

You know it's time to go on the wagon when....

waitress.txt

Health Warning: Waitresses

washroom.txt

20 Types You Meet in the Men's Room

wedding.hum

The Wedding Ends Before it Started: NY Post

weight.txt

Giving New Meaning to Working out With Weights - Russell Daily News, Feb. 24, 1992

welfare

Examples of Unclear Writing to the Welfare Department

welfare.txt

Welfare Bloopers Fare Wall (Excerpts from Applications for Welfare)

wetdream.hum

Wet Dream in Atlantis

who.txt

Did you hear about the guy who.....

whoon1st.hum

The Classic Who's On First Routine

whoops.hum

Why the National Satirist was down last week

why-me.hum

Examples of People Dying or Getting Hurt in really funny ways

wimptest.txt

Mangling Impersonal Relationships, by Dunkirk

wisconsi.txt

Collection of Wiconsonisms

wisdom

Words of Wisdom

women.jok

David's Truths About Women

wood

The Woody Sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus

woodbine.txt

The New Woodbine Pushover Stakes

woodbugs.txt

101 Uses For Wood Bugs (those bugs that curl into a ball) by David Hooper

woodsmok.txt

Stories about the Problems with Wood-Burning Stoves

woolly_m.amm

Retrobreeding the Woolly Mammoth from the April 1984 Issue of the MIT Technology Review

word.hum

One of the Most Colorful Words in the World is FUCK!

worldend.hum

The World Ended Yesterday, by Don L. Tyler

wrdnws1.txt

Weird News: Volume 1

wrdnws2.txt

Weird News Volume 2

wrdnws3.txt

Weird News Volume 3

wrdnws4.txt

Weird News Volume 4

wrdnws5.txt

Weird News Volume 5

wrdnws6.txt

Weird News Volume 6

wrdnws7.txt

Weird News Volume 7

wrdnws8.txt

Weird News Volume 8

wrdnws9.txt

Weird News Volume 9

xibovac.txt

My Time with Xibo on my Vacation

xtermin8.hum

Leech Extermination Guide Version One

y.txt

50 Uses for the Household Pussy, by Gross Genitalia, December 04, 1989

yjohncse.hum

Why Johnny Can't Sell, a Business Report

yogisays.txt

Famous Yogi Berra Quotes

yuppies.hum

What is A Yuppie? By Uncle Stimey

zen.txt

A Collection of Zen Koans

zgtoilet.txt

Zero Gravity Toilet Instructions

zodiac.hum

The World's Most Unpleasant Zodiac

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